guest post and Q&A with counselor Emily Kleiber
Many people find it difficult to untangle their perceptions of what PMADs look like and may doubt this could be what they are experiencing. Many clients share they didn’t think they could possibly be struggling with this since they had a very different image of what “post-partum depression” entails. The reality is that women experiencing PMADs can encounter wildly different symptoms and struggles. One woman may feel a strong sense of attachment to her baby but feels a pit of dread every evening, struggling to rest or turn her brain “off.” Another may have a lack of interest in her baby completely. Others may have new and distressing feelings of rage, wonder if she’s not cut out to do this task of motherhood, have a deep longing to go back to the way things were before, and many other different variations.
Perinatal mood disorders are treatable and you are not alone.
What is PTSD?
Post-traumatic stress disorder can be included in the range of perinatal mood disorders. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that can result from any type of traumatic experience. Someone with PTSD may experience feelings of extreme stress, anxiety, and reactivity that are disruptive to daily functioning. Symptoms can include flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, avoidant behavior, loss of interest in previously-enjoyable activities, and feelings of hypervigilance or being “on edge.”
While all survivors react differently, there are three main symptoms of PTSD:
- Re-experiencing: feeling like you are reliving the event through flashbacks, dreams, or intrusive thoughts
- Avoidance: intentionally or subconsciously changing your behavior to avoid scenarios associated with the event or losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
- Hyper-arousal: feeling “on edge” all of the time, having difficulty sleeping, being easily startled, or prone to sudden outbursts
Postpartum PTSD can come from birth experiences and previous experiences. Why might pregnancy or birth cause previous trauma to resurface?
We have such little understanding of the connection between our minds and bodies. Pregnancy and delivery are certainly deeply physical experiences and can often feel out of control for the woman who is experiencing them. This can leave us feeling chaotic and fragmented instead of functioning from a calm, regulated, and integrated place. The pregnancy and birth process can introduce new traumatic experiences as well as stir up previous ones. When a woman is functioning from a place of disconnection, she may sense things are wrong, off, or not how they’re “supposed to be” without always knowing specifically the root of her hurt.
What would you say to a mother who experienced a traumatic birth?
The first thing I would say to her is I don’t expect anything from her as far as summarizing her story to have some sort of immediate positive conclusion. I would validate her confusion, fear, anger, and/or hurt. I would recommend that a slow, patient approach to counseling can provide the safety and space to go through the process of naming and processing her pain. I would assure her there is hope in Christ to provide a foundation for her healing.
How might the gospel be applied to trauma? How could it be misapplied?
It often seems Christians can feel pressure to articulate a redeemed version of their story without leaving room to struggle or be in a place of uncertainty. I believe that works-based applications to our faith can place a burden on people to “meet God halfway” in their healing or to prove that the Lord is at work in their lives through their actions or self-improvement. This can lead to self-reliance and exhaustion. A gospel of grace is demonstrated in a savior who came to His hurting people, expecting nothing from them, sacrificing for them, and reconciling them to the Father. We have a God who moves toward His people in their pain instead of expecting them to work toward Himself.
Not everyone can find a provider (counselor, therapist, or doctor) who is informed regarding trauma. What would you tell a mother in this situation who is looking for help? What might be misunderstood by those who aren’t trained in this area?
Perinatal mood disorders have biological, emotional, and spiritual components. Dividing these facets from one another can put too much focus on one area and result in missed opportunities for healing and care. I would recommend that any woman experiencing perinatal mood symptoms pursue holistic support covering all of these areas. Too often women in the church can receive messages that their struggles with mental health can be boiled down to a lack of faith. Complex disorders require a more diversified approach in offering support.
About Emily
I consider it a great privilege to come alongside hurting people in the counseling process. At the foundation of my practice is a warm, empathetic, Gospel-centered approach that seeks to emphasize the magnitude of God’s grace in our lives and the freedom it brings. I currently serve as the Counseling Director at my beloved home church in Minneapolis and have experience working with women, men, and couples. I received my Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology from Bethel University. My therapeutic approach comes from varied backgrounds including Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Pesso Boyden Sensoripsychomotor (PBSP) to support regulating emotion, adapting to change, and healing from unmet needs in childhood. I have a diverse mix of clinical and ministry-related counseling experience including counseling women in the perinatal period at a pregnancy resource center, assessing pastors for readiness in church planting, and leading a series of Marriage & the Gospel classes for couples.
I have been married to my husband for 20 years and we have three amazing children. I absolutely love living in the city and appreciate live music, enjoying the local food scene, exploring on long walks, and cheering on our kids at all of their different sporting events. Feel free to email me with any questions at emily (at) gospelcarecollective.org
The Sorrows of Eve 