Once you know what intrusive thoughts are,[1] what do you do with them? How do you handle the random, freaky images and impulses that come into your brain?

Here are three steps I and other moms have found helpful: identify the thought, acknowledge the truth, and distract yourself.

1. Identify the thought.

“That was an intrusive thought. My brain was being weird.”

Name the thought as intrusive. This helps you make sure it is intrusive, then reminds you that it because it’s intrusive, it isn’t something you want to do or who you are.

While I am hesitant to ascribe specific things to Satan, I do believe that IT can have a component of spiritual warfare.[2] Since Satan is the accuser, IT fit with his work, and this can be identified here, too. “That was an attack of the Devil.”

Whether you ascribe IT to spiritual warfare or not, it is good to note that the IT are intrusive, something that comes into your mind that is not your own thought.

2. Acknowledge the truth.

“I love my baby and am holding her securely on the stairs.”
“This isn’t something I want to do, but something I’m afraid of doing.”
“My baby is safe, that is not a threat to her right now.”

Counter the IT with what is actually happening. Studies have shown that IT actually don’t increase risk of harm, and often have the opposite effect: parents become overprotective in response (which is its own pitfall, but that’s another topic).

Here is also a good place to remind yourself of who you are in Christ! In their podcast on intrusive thoughts, Beth Broom and Eliza Huie say to “turn your imagination towards God,” which is an excellent description of another aspect of acknowledging the truth.[3]

Keep it brief. The more weight you give IT, the stronger they become. Dwelling on IT, even to counter them, can hamper your ability to let them bounce off you.

3. Distract yourself.

Move on. Don’t keep thinking about the IT. Put on a playlist. Watch a movie. Sing a song. Play with your kids. Read a book.

If you pray or meditate on Scripture, but be careful not focus on the IT in doing so. If you believe there is a spiritual component to your IT, I recommend including those aspects of response in steps one and two and/or doing that work proactively, more than reactively. Crying out to God for help in the midst of IT is valuable and powerful, as long as it’s a way to meditate more on God rather than the IT.

Bonus: Tell Someone.

I haven’t always or even usually shared specifics of my intrusive thoughts, but it has been helpful for me to let those close to me know I’m having them. That allows me further identify them as well as let others pray for me and help me get more sleep (see below).

These steps don’t usually stop intrusive thoughts, but they do make them less “sticky” so they don’t freak me out nearly as much.

But what about preventing IT in the first place?

Preventing Intrusive Thoughts

• The best way for new moms to prevent intrusive thoughts is sleep (this may be different outside of the initial postpartum period). I know it sounds cruel to say that to the parent of a newborn, but it helps me to know that even if I can’t get sleep. I can say in the above step one, “that’s just my sleep-deprived brain.”
• If there are times of day or night you’re prone to intrusive thoughts, consider starting the “distract” step before they begin. For me, this often looks like an audiobook, eBook, or playlist during night feedings. I try not to scroll social media because of the risk of coming across something that will make me anxious.
• Likewise, take a moment now to think about when and where your IT occur so that you can identify possible triggers.
• Counseling/therapy and medication are other avenues for healing intrusive thoughts. See my previous article for more.

If you aren’t sure if you’re having intrusive thoughts or something else, be sure to read What Are Intrusive Thoughts or call the PSI warm line (1-800-944-4773), or a hotline (1-833-852-6262) if you’re concerned about psychosis or if you think you might hurt someone (1-800-273-8255 is the suicide hotline).

If your intrusive thoughts are pervasive or you can’t shake them, consider calling a counselor or therapist for help. Ask your birth provider if you don’t know where to start.

Finally, if you can get through the archaic language, you may find Puritan Richard Sibbes encouraging:

“Some again are haunted with hideous representations to their imaginations, and with vile and unworthy thoughts of God, of Christ, of the Word, which, as busy flies, disquiet and molest their peace. These are cast in like wildfire by Satan, as may be discerned by the strangeness, the strength and violence, and the horribleness of them even to corrupt nature. A pious soul is no more guilty of them than Benjamin was when Joseph’s cup was put into his sack. Among other helps recommended by godly writers, such as detestation of them and diversion from them to other things, let this be one, to complain to Christ against them, and to fly under the wings of his protection, and to desire him to take our part against his and our enemy. Shall every sin and blasphemy of man be forgiven, and not these blasphemous thoughts, which have the devil for their father, when Christ himself was molested in this way so that he might succor all poor souls in this condition?”

Richard Sibbes, The Bruised Reed

 

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[1] My previous article “What are intrusive thoughts?” is foundational for this one, especially as it regards the theological assumptions being made in how to respond to IT.

[2] If you’ve read Pilgrim’s Progress, you may remember the whisperings Christian experienced in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Intrusive thoughts can be in this category.

[3] https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-deal-with-intrusive-thoughts/id1581983614?i=1000620884389