After experiencing postpartum OCD and depression after my first baby was born, readiness for another round of PMADs was on the forefront of my mind during my second pregnancy. While I knew there was much that was out of my hands, I also knew that I did have some degree of control over my prenatal diet and mental and spiritual well-being. Whether you’ve had PMADs in the past or are just aware of them and want to be ready, there are ways you can prepare. Doing so won’t guarantee you won’t have PMADs. I wish I could make you that promise, but I can’t. However, these three steps both minimize risk factors and give you a framework for responding to PMADs if they do arise.
1. Educate Yourself on PMAD Symptoms
The first step is to educate yourself, your husband, and others close to you about PMADs. Be aware of signs and symptoms that are red flags. It’s good for you to know these, but it’s also important for the people who are most involved in your life to know, too. This may be your husband, mother, best friend, or anyone else. They may pick up on symptoms you think are normal, aren’t aware of, or are in denial about—which also means that if for whatever reason you can’t reach out for the help you need, you have others around you to do it for you.
Postpartum Support International has some helpful symptom lists broken down by specific disorder, and so does Postpartum Progress.
2. Build Your Support Team
Most moms know they’ll need some help postpartum. Often, this help comes in the form of family visiting and a meal train. But don’t wait until your third trimester to build your postpartum support team (you may need their help during pregnancy as well!), and certainly don’t wait until you face a problem postpartum to know what to do.
Spend a few moments now to brainstorm what to do then:
- Who can give you practical support (babysitting, meals, housekeeping, etc.)? Or how might you budget for and receive this help in other ways (i.e., paid babysitter, postpartum doula, meal delivery, housecleaning service)?
- Who is your medical support? Your birth provider is a good person to ask for specific recommendations for a lactation consultant, psychiatrist, and physical therapist. You don’t even have to ask your OB or midwife for this information now, just know who to call if you need a recommendation (You don’t want to be googling for a lactation consultant when you’re 3 days postpartum and in excruciating pain, then having to call numerous people about insurance, credentials, pricing, and availability. Ask me how I know…).
- Who will you go to for emotional support? Numerous people can fill this role. It may be your mother, husband, friends, mentors, counselor, a ministry leader at your church, or any combination of these people. Think of who you’re comfortable asking to pray for and encourage you, and who you trust to share with honestly about your mental health.
My free, printable postpartum planner is how I plan these things ahead of time.
3. Plan For Recovery
In addition to planning what others can do to help you, think about what you can do to pave the way for a smooth pregnancy and postpartum.
- What do you need to do to best take care of your body? How can you eat to fuel it nutritiously? How can you move to make it both strong and rested? And what steps do you need to take to make sure this happens in the perinatal period? I’ve purchased special snacks and supplements, as well as thrown or given away foods I don’t want to be eating. By trial and error, I’ve found what kind of exercise feels best for my body in different seasons.
- What do you need to do to best take care of your soul? While the most obvious application of this question is to promoting spiritual health through Bible reading, prayer, and Scripture meditation, it can and does also include rest and other things that help you unwind. Spiritual health should be a huge priority for pregnant and postpartum mothers, but caring for our inner person can include other things as well.
Once more, check out my postpartum planner to guide you through the planning process.
Preparing for the Worst, Praying for the Best
Throughout your pregnancy, it’s wise to do what you can to prepare for difficulty postpartum and even during pregnancy. This doesn’t equal expecting PMADs, but it does mean that you have some awareness of them and have taken some steps to smooth your path. And while these three steps won’t guarantee perinatal bliss, they’re a helpful way to make it more peaceful if there are no PMADs and make you more ready to take action if there are. Also, keep in mind that while we can and should address risk factors, doing all you can to prevent PMADs and still suffering in that way does not mean you failed. Do not get caught up in the if-only’s and what-if’s of all the things you could have done differently. There are so many factors, and you also never know what the severity would have been had you not prepared.
Preparations are good and wise (Proverbs 27:12). But we need to be careful where we place our hope. As I waited for my second baby to be born, Jeremiah 17:5-8 convicted me to be careful not to trust in the things I could do to alleviate stress and nourish my body, but instead to trust in the Lord.
“Thus says the LORD: ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.
Jeremiah 17:5-8
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is in the LORD, for he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes, but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in year of drought, nor cease to yield fruit.’”
There is no biblical guarantee to prevent PMADs, no matter how much trust a mother has in the Lord. But a suffering mother can still experience true blessedness, which isn’t avoiding the heat or the drought (aka PMADs), but a rooted fruitfulness that comes from being nourished by what God provides–something that comes not through pills and sleep but from his help and presence. Our ultimate hope is not in any preparations we make, but in our Almighty Father who cares for in Christ as his beloved children. So in all of your hoping and planning, pray to him for peace and rest as you welcome this baby, and wisdom and strength to face whatever comes.
The Sorrows of Eve 