When the rest of the world is sleeping
And the room is dark
And the house is quiet
Except for the baby,
And you’re sleep deprived
And resentful that everyone else gets to rest
And you’re trying to keep your eyes open while the baby nurses
Or wiggles
Or fusses
And despair and anxiety and intrusive thoughts creep in. All of these, liars, and night is their favorite time to whisper or shout.
Night is no time to let your guard down.
Fighting in the dark may look more defensive than offensive–I cannot take my thoughts captive very well at 2 AM. But that doesn’t mean you have to let your thoughts drag you down to dark places.
Five Tactics for Midnight Battles
I’ve heard from three other moms in recent months that I’m not alone in my midnight fight. So here are five tactics I’ve relied on:
- Recite Scripture or hymns in your head. My counselor suggested I not pray at night because that often slips into worry for me, so I do this instead. Isaiah 40 has become a valuable weapon against anxiety for me.
- Read an ebook if you can nurse one-handed. It doesn’t have to be “spiritual.” It can be a novel (though probably nothing scary or intense). The idea is just to occupy your mind to prevent the downward spiral.
- Turn on a peaceful playlist, whether baby is awake with you or not. I mostly listen to my birth playlists postpartum when I’m trying to fight off despair or anxiety (instrumental or with words). Or try Kristyn Getty’s Psalms recording or Ryan Lister’s Emblems of the Infinite King. I do this especially if I’m having a hard time falling asleep or am patting a restless baby, because it occupies my mind with truth.
- Put the baby down and walk away if you’re angry or even just frustrated. Responding in frustration tends to just make both you and baby more upset.
- Ask others to pray for you in the night, especially if you have friends around the world or know a fellow mom who will be awake already.
The Sorrows of Eve 